Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
