Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
We just shotgunned beers for America
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
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