My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Randomize
