Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
Randomize
