Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
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