ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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