I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
