This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
