Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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