She said her name was "party"
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Randomize
