you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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