she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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