im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
