is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
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