Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
