Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
