so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
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