; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Randomize