I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
and she was petting her beer can
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Randomize
