conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
She's the barista slut.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
