There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Randomize
