Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Randomize
