I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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