If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
