He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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