in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Is it penis luge time yet?
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
