I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
