YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Randomize
