She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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