They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
