tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
he told me I talked like a deaf person
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Randomize
