chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
