just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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