Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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