Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
