Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
