I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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