I love black thongs
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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