you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
