I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Randomize