You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I will be naked everywhere
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Randomize
