God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
