you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
