so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
