mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
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