My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Randomize
