My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
