I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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