ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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