we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
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