Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
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