we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize
