we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Ladies don't puke and tell
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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