i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Randomize
